Alistair Carmichael “Relentlessly Tormented” by Fraggles

Liberal Democrat MP, Alistair Carmichael, has claimed at his trial at the Court of Sessions that he initially failed to recollect leaking a confidential memo regarding Nicola Sturgeon, on account of being “relentlessly tormented” by Fraggles.

The case has been brought against the MP for Orkney & Shetland by four members of his constituency. They are petitioning under the Representation of the People Act to have Mr Carmichael’s election victory declared void, following his admission that the leaked memo – which he initially denied all knowledge of – was authorised by him while he was Secretary of State for Scotland.

Representing Mr Carmichael (50), Roddy Dunlop QC, said his client fully admitted he had made an error of judgement, but claimed this was at least partly caused by the Carmichael family’s ongoing problems with the Fraggles – a race of colourful cave-dwelling creatures the former Scottish Secretary insists live under his house.

For the past several years, the space beneath Mr Carmichael’s home has allegedly been plagued by the Fraggles, who, claims the MP, noisily “dance their cares away” morning, noon and night.

Fraggles: "Yay big."
Fraggles: “Yay big.”

Mr Carmichael also insists he has spotted some of the rodent-like creatures attempting to cross his garden, but – despite his best efforts – has been unable to catch one in order to prove their existence.

On the one occasion he did successfully manage to intercept one of the creatures, he claims his wife screamed so loudly that the startled Carmichael tossed the Fraggle over his shoulder in panic, whereupon it is alleged to have returned to its underground lair.

Representative of the petitioners, Mr Mitchell, has said he was “wholly unimpressed” by the defence counsel’s argument, and that being tormented day and night by the Fraggles was “no excuse” for Mr Carmichael’s blatant abuse of trust.

The trial continues.

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