Botched Surgery Leaves Woman with Body of Giraffe

News satire: Woman's head grafted onto body of giraffe

A Northumberland woman is considering legal action, after what should have been a straight-forward cosmetic surgery procedure left her with the neck and body of a giraffe.

Catherine Baines had been given a voucher for the face lift procedure as a 60th birthday present by older sister, Joanne, who went through a similar operation back in February. Mrs Baines had remarked many times on how the surgery had left her sister looking younger, and was delighted by the gift.

However the surgery, which usually involves incisions being made behind the ears allowing the facial skin to be pulled tighter, instead saw Mrs Baines being decapitated and her head grafted onto the neck of a giraffe.

DIFFERENT

“I remember thinking, ‘Oh-ho. Something’s different,'” said Mrs Baines, describing the moment she woke up after the procedure. “You know how sometimes you can just feel that something isn’t right? Like intuition? It was a bit like that.”

She added: “Also, I was over five metres tall.”

When Mrs Baines alerted medical staff to the situation, they quickly rushed her back into theatre to attempt to reverse the operation, but by then the mother of two’s body had already been incinerated.

A spokesperson for the Harley Medical Group, which carried out the procedure, refused to comment on individual cases, but said: “While 99.9% of cosmetic surgery operations in the UK pass without a hitch, occasionally things can and do go wrong.

“We really do feel for anyone who is left unhappy with the results of their surgery. Whether it’s because they feel their lips appear bloated, their nose looks unnatural, or their head is teetering atop the neck of a Rothschild giraffe, our hearts go out to them.”

Mrs Baines says that the botched operation has put a strain on her marriage of 32 years, and as a result of the surgeon’s error she has been forced to give up her part-time job at a local children’s play centre and sleep in the garden.

Have YOU suffered as a direct result of a cack-handed surgical procedure? We’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.

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