Corbyn Tipped for Christmas Number One

Newly-elected Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, looks set to continue his run of recent success, with bookies placing him odds-on favourite to top the singles chart this Christmas.

Industry insiders say that support for Mr Corbyn is at fever pitch, and that ‘Corbynmania’ will sweep the MP for Islington North to the top of the charts when the first single from his upcoming album, A Very Corbyn Christmas, is released in mid-December.

The album sees the sixty-six-year-old socialist perform a number of festive favourites, including White ChristmasMary’s Boy Child and Wizzard’s I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day.

The first single to be taken from the album is a “heart-rending” cover of Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues’ Fairytale in New York, which Corbyn performs with recently-elected Scottish Labour leader, Kezia Dugdale.


Taking a break from signing autographs outside his tour bus, Mr Corbyn said he was “thrilled” by the support he received from his “trusty Corbynites,” and said he was looking forward to his upcoming stadium tour following the album’s release.

Mr Corbyn – who is allegedly planning to replace all NHS staff with cats – also hinted that he may soon be making his Hollywood debut, but refused to confirm rumours he is set to appear alongside Robert Downey Jr in the upcoming Captain America: Civil War, which is currently in production at Marvel Studios.

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Well done Jezza! It’ll be the first Xmas us pissed off, penniless plebs had owt to be glad about, since ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ had us dancing in the streets till dawn! Merry Xmas!!

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