Ministers Express Concern for PM Cameron

Concerns are growing for the mental well-being of Prime Minister David Cameron, following his appointment of deceased children’s entertainer, Rod Hull, to the post of Secretary of State for the Environment, Food, and Rural Affairs.

The announcement of Mr Hull’s appointment to the position came after a stressful few weeks for Mr Cameron, which has seen a drastic narrowing of Scottish independence opinion polls, and calls for an independent inquiry into an alleged Treasury leak over the future of the RBS group.

Sources close to the Prime Minster say the uncertainty over the referendum, as well as the fear of the inevitable pressure to step down should the Yes camp win next Thursday’s vote, has caused Cameron to start acting in an “uncharacteristically erratic manner”.

Shortly after returning from a visit to woo voters in Scotland, Mr Cameron announced a cabinet reshuffle – the second in just over a month. Elizabeth Trust, who was appointed as Secretary to Environment, Food and Rural Affairs in July this year, has been removed from her post, and instead replaced by former children’s television star, Rod Hull, who passed away in 1999.

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Hull – best known for performing on television and in pantomime with his puppet sidekick, “Emu” – was killed after falling off the roof of his house while trying to fix his TV aerial. Despite this, the Prime Minister insists Hull is the right man for the job.

“Who could be more perfectly suited for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs than a man who lives in a windmill and has a bird as his constant companion?” Cameron said, responding to criticism over the move. “I mean a bird for Christ’s sake – it’s perfect!”

Added Cameron: “Plus it’s not just a windmill, it’s a pink windmill, so that’ll appeal not only to the green brigade, but to the gays, too.”

Despite the reassurances from their leader, many Tory back benchers have branded the move “outrageous”, with some predicting that this is the end for “clearly unhinged” Cameron.

“The public have suffered extensively through years of austerity measures, and the PM is lucky to have lasted this long,” one back-bencher told us. “But to appoint TV’s Rod Hull to the cabinet – a man both politically inexperienced and categorically dead – is surely the last straw.”

Mr Hull – who is scheduled to take up his position on Monday 15th September – was unavailable for comment yesterday.

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