Nick Clegg Fading from Time

Deputy Prime Minister fading from time itself

In what could be seen as yet another blow for the ailing Liberal Democrats, it was today revealed that party leader, Nick Clegg, is fading from time.

Sources close to Mr Clegg (48) told journalists that the Deputy Prime Minster first began fading out of existence in October. and that his entire life is now in the process of being “unpicked like a stitch” from the very fabric of the cosmos itself.

Scientists have theorised that Mr Clegg’s gradual dissipation from the collective memory of every member of the human race, living or dead, is likely to have been triggered by the worldwide apathy over the 2014 Lib Dem Autumn conference, which they believe probably took place around October-ish, give or take a few weeks.

During Mr Clegg’s wholly ignored keynote speech about policies of whatever, his right hand was observed to “become partially transparent”. It is believed that this was the moment when his erasing from all of time and space got underway.

Although it is not yet known precisely why Mr Clegg is being erased from time, some experts have proposed that the time stream itself may simply be purging itself of the MP for Sheffield Hallam in what they describe as an act of “quantum cleansing”. Others argue that it is the utter indifference in which Mr Clegg is regarded that is causing his deletion, and the topic is expected to remain the subject of much debate right up until the point when the Buckinghamshire-born father-of-three never existed.

When asked if Mr Clegg’s removal from time itself is likely to have any significant knock-on effects for the rest of the world, renowned physicist Dr Robert Lanza replied, “No.”

Mr Clegg may have been available for comment earlier, but no-one could remember where he lived.

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