Pensioners Killed in Waste Paper Bin Throwing Incident

A Manchester woman is in mourning today, after her failure to throw a scrunched up ball of paper into a wastepaper basket on the other side of the room resulted in the sudden deaths of her elderly parents.

Hilary Miller (32) had been attempting to toss a torn-out page from a notebook into the waste receptacle for several minutes, and despite coming close on several occasions, failed to successfully get it in.

On her final attempt, Ms Miller is alleged to have announced that should she fail one more time, her “mum and dad would both die.” The throw that followed is reported to have gone several centimetres wide of its target, resulting in Miller’s parents, Alan (71) and Vera (67) both immediately suffering massive cardiac arrests at their home in Devon.

EMERGENCY SERVICES

Upon discovering the pair later that afternoon, neighbours rushed to call the emergency services, but the couple were both pronounced dead at the scene.

“This was a tragic, needless loss of two very popular individuals,” said a close friend of Mr and Mrs Miller. “The community is shaken by their deaths, and our heart goes out to Hilary, who clearly didn’t realise the potential consequences of her actions.”

Ms Miller was last in the news in 2010, when her failure to catch a coin in a cup resulted in an earthquake which claimed the lives of 160,000 people in Haiti.

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