Racists Suddenly Deeply Concerned About Plight of Homeless

Racists the length and breadth of the country have united in their concern for the the UK’s homeless, despite their complete overwhelming indifference to their plight mere days ago.

Concern among racists for the nation’s estimated 185,000 homeless people has risen sharply in the wake of the refugee crisis currently affecting Europe, with many taking to social media to say the government should be helping those in need within the UK, rather than those from other countries.

“What’s the point in shipping in more foreign tramps when we’ve got loads of tramps here already?” asked racist, Sandra Lawson (28), who has never bought the Big Issue. “You can’t move for the jakey bastards outside the pub on a Saturday night. It’s a bloody sin.”

DIXONS

Fellow bigot, Ken Tallon (30), was quick to agree. “It’s an absolute disgrace,” said the father of eight, who once urinated on a man sleeping rough in the doorway of his local Dixons for a bet. “We’re spending money housing these immigrants, when we should be getting good, honest Brits off the streets.”

Added Mr Tallon: “And hosing them down while we’re at it, because a lot of them fucking stink.”

Concern for the homeless is expected to peak among racists by late Friday, before rapidly subsiding in time for the X-Factor the following day.

A spokesman for the UK’s homeless population said that, while they appreciated the racists’ outpouring of support on Facebook and Twitter, they’d much rather have some money, food and a place where they could sleep without fear of being knifed repeatedly in the face and torso.

Get More of this Stuff
Join the NewsThing newsletter today

Enjoying our no-nonsense, hard-hitting investigative journalism here on NewsThing? Then stick in your details and get the weekly newsletter from the UK's newest and fastest-growing news satire site. Ensure you never miss another story again, and get to read the occasional exclusive not available on the site.

If you've read this far, you've missed the bit where you put in your details. Move your eyes about half an inch up the page.

Start spreading the news...Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn6Tweet about this on TwitterShare on Tumblr0Pin on Pinterest1Share on Facebook12.6k

8 comments

Dont think people should be classed as racists just because we kniw that we do not have the housing, resources to feed house or give the nhs to thousands of people when the country is hitting rock bottom. I give to lots of charities in this country and undestand the views of lots of people without calling them names.

I suspect a lot has to do with your definition of ‘rock bottom’. If you think hitting rock bottom involves people switching from Waitrose to Aldi and cutting down on their Sky package, then I see your point.

If, however, you think ‘rock bottom’ involves children being killed and tortured by their own government, hundreds of thousands of men, woman and children being killed by mortar fire in their own homes, and four million innocent people being forced to flee for their lives, then it becomes harder to justify saying, “Keep out.”

However, you’ve missed the point of the story entirely. So well done for that.

“If, however, you think ‘rock bottom’ involves children being killed and tortured by their own government” i’d say it’s done by our gorvernment with the funding of these radical groups in order to topple the countries these poor refugees have to flea. and if you are likely to see this as “conspiracy” theory then you will soon see we are next.

Leave a Reply

*