Racists the length and breadth of the country have united in their concern for the the UK’s homeless, despite their complete overwhelming indifference to their plight mere days ago.
Concern among racists for the nation’s estimated 185,000 homeless people has risen sharply in the wake of the refugee crisis currently affecting Europe, with many taking to social media to say the government should be helping those in need within the UK, rather than those from other countries.
“What’s the point in shipping in more foreign tramps when we’ve got loads of tramps here already?” asked racist, Sandra Lawson (28), who has never bought the Big Issue. “You can’t move for the jakey bastards outside the pub on a Saturday night. It’s a bloody sin.”
Fellow bigot, Ken Tallon (30), was quick to agree. “It’s an absolute disgrace,” said the father of eight, who once urinated on a man sleeping rough in the doorway of his local Dixons for a bet. “We’re spending money housing these immigrants, when we should be getting good, honest Brits off the streets.”
Added Mr Tallon: “And hosing them down while we’re at it, because a lot of them fucking stink.”
Concern for the homeless is expected to peak among racists by late Friday, before rapidly subsiding in time for the X-Factor the following day.
A spokesman for the UK’s homeless population said that, while they appreciated the racists’ outpouring of support on Facebook and Twitter, they’d much rather have some money, food and a place where they could sleep without fear of being knifed repeatedly in the face and torso.