“Sums Not Really My Strong Point!” laughs Boris Johnson

Leader of the EU Referendum Leave campaign, Boris Johnson, has admitted in a speech this morning that much of the information given out during the campaign was “wildly inaccurate,” claiming, “sums were never really my strong point!”

Mr Johnson, who is hotly-tipped to replace David Cameron as Prime Minister, explained that, contrary to what he and his team claimed during the campaign period, £350 million a week will “very much not” now be spent on building more hospitals.

borissmall“No. Definitely not,” said Mr Johnson, mugging ludicrously to gathered members of the media. “I mean, I’d love to, obviously. But it’s not going to happen.”

When pressed for details as to why he had no plans to follow through with his pledges, Mr Johnson (52), began to respond, before slipping on a carefully-placed banana skin and disappearing behind the podium. The former Mayor of London then dragged himself back into a standing position, his unkempt blonde locks covering his eyes, his face fixed in an expression of comical bemusement.

Despite Mr Johnson’s trademark tomfoolery, several journalists insisted he answer the question. Mr Johnson gave an exaggerated shrug, said, “look, it’s all very complicated,” then proceeded to pick up a long plank of wood and turn in unexpected directions with it, forcing everyone around to duck as the plank whistled past just inches above their heads several times in quick succession.

Mr Johnson is due to be interviewed by Andrew Marr later this afternoon, but is expected to instead go whizzing past the BBC studio on roller skates, while frantically flailing his arms.

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