Terrahawks Ruined My Life, says TV’s Zelda

Zelda, the alien cyborg who regularly clashed with the Terrahawks in the 1980s TV series of the same name, has finally spoken out about the negative impact her portrayal in the series had on her life.

In a frank and emotional interview with NewsThing, Zelda spoke at length about how “unfair editing” made her “look like a monster”, and how the hate mail she received during the course of the series left her afraid to leave her modest three-bedroom home on the planet Mars.

“I was stitched up, there’s no two ways about it,” said Zelda. “Yes, I occasionally lashed out sometimes – who doesn’t? – but the way Gerry [Anderson] had the show edited made me look like I was trying to wipe out all life on Earth, and crush the Terrahawks with my matter-manipulation abilities.”

“First up,” Zelda continued, “I don’t even know what matter-manipulation is, never mind how to do it. Secondly, I wouldn’t dream of referring to the people of Earth as ‘Human Scum’ while sending an unstoppable army of cuboid robots to slaughter them like cattle in the streets.”

Added Zelda: “But they cleverly pick and choose the footage in the editing suite to tell the story they want to tell. Before you know it, you’re the demented head of a family of renegade intergalactic misfits, and there’s not a thing you can do about.”

AMICABLE

Zelda insists that in reality her relationship with the Terrahawks – the elite task force of the Earth Defence Squadron – was largely amicable, and while they had their differences they were nowhere near to the extent suggested on the show.

“Sure, Dr Ninestein and I had disagreements from time to time, and Captain Falconer could be a snooty cow when she wanted to be, but by and large everyone got along just fine.

“So why they dubbed on that crazy laugh and depicted me as shooting lasers at everyone all the time is beyond me. I guess it just fit their agenda, but they don’t think about how it could affect the lives of those involved.”

Following the series, Zelda claims that disgruntled fans began an orchestrated campaign of hate against her, which saw her being spat on on the street, and having bags of burning excrement pushed through her letterbox on more than one occasion.

Zelda’s decision to speak out about her ordeal comes on the fifth anniversary of the death of Thunderbirds actor, the Hood, whose negative portrayal in the series and the subsequent abuse he received led to him taking his own life in September 2010.

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