TV’s John Leslie in “Sickening” Immortality Quest

John Leslie: Immortal?
John Leslie: Immortal?

Disgraced former TV presenter, John Leslie, is alleged to have sunk to new depths of depravity last week when he embarked on a drug fuelled frenzy which saw him slaughter a newborn baby unicorn and devour its heart.

Leslie (49), is said to have been snorting cocaine and indulging in shocking six way sex with male and female prostitutes on the evening of September 12th, when he announced plans to track and kill the fabled horned beast.

“John’s always coming out with all kinds of crazy shit like that,” career prostitute Wendy Banks (19) told us, “so none of us really thought he’d actually go out and find himself a unicorn, let alone then kill it with his bare hands and eat its raw, still-beating heart.”

SICKENING

Although it is currently not known where Leslie found the never-before-seen creature of myth, there is little doubt over his reasons for slaying it. Countless legends describe the eating of a unicorn’s heart as a path to immortality, and it is widely thought that this is what motivated the former Blue Peter presenter to carry out what the RSPCA are describing as a “deeply sickening attack”.

It is not yet known if Leslie – who was not willing to comment on the allegations outside his West London home yesterday – has indeed attained everlasting life as a result of the heart consumption, and mythology experts say it may be “several years” before it is possible to know for certain.

This latest act of debauchery is the most recent in a long line of scandals involving Leslie, who has battled with drugs, alcohol and having sex with large numbers of prostitutes at the same time for several years.

Fern Brittan – former friend and co-host of Leslie on ITV’s This Morning – is said to be “saddened” by the allegations, but declined to speculate on the possibility of her Edinburgh-born ex-colleague living for all eternity.

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