Woman’s Work Finally Done

satire woman's work is never done

US mother of three, Abigail Wilson (39), successfully disproved that “a woman’s work is never done” today, when she finally reached the conclusion of her years-long, thankless toil.

Following several long hours of washing up, vacuuming and doing laundry, Mrs Wilson officially declared herself chore-free at 7pm PST (3am GMT) – a feat believed to have never before been achieved by any woman throughout history.

Although Mrs Wilson has completed her daily task list many times in the past, her husband and three young children have been quick to undo her hard work, forcing her “to do it all over again next day.”

CONFIDENT

However, following a high-speed car accident which claimed the lives of her husband, Alan, and children Emma (11), Randy (8) and Elizabeth (3) earlier this month, Mrs Wilson says she is now “confident” that her work is finally at an end.

“At last!” said Mrs Wilson to the empty, silent living room which once rang with the sound of laughter. “All the toys are put away. All the shirts are washed and pressed. No-one’s going to come along and mess it all up again!”

Added Mrs Wilson: “Ever.”

Michigan-born Abigail plans to toast the momentous occasion with a well-earned glass of champagne later this evening, after which she is expected so sob uncontrollably for several hours, before finally taking her own life.

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